It’s funny how preferences work. Sometimes the things that bother us about other people are the exact things that make other people adore them. The things we cannot stand about ourselves are things other people like. I have a friend with this wonderful, loud laugh that comes from her very soul. She doesn’t like it; most of us find it to be wonderfully comforting. Everyone laughs with her, and it feels like being home. This isn’t about laughter, though. It’s about my thighs.

They have always been The One Thing I Would Change. I don’t like them one bit, other than that they’re functional for getting me around. When I was younger, I had dreams of marrying an Olympic speed skater since they had hugemongous man thighs. The years when I could have work short skirts without raising eyebrows passed with a series of below the knee skirts. I have lived through year after year of Texas summers without donning shorts.

Then one day, I called up the boyfriend. The first thing he asked was: “How’s my beautiful big tittied, big thighed girl?”I blinked at the phone for a few seconds and said (rather icily): “I beg your pardon, but what did you just call me?” He repeated it. “What?” He repeated it again, very clearly, and asked if something was wrong with the phone. I told him to never mention my thighs again.

“But I like them!”

He likes my thighs. My loathsome, pale thighs, which I have tried so hard to censor and hide have a fan club. He likes that they are big and soft, among other things. Don’t ask me why, but my concept of big and beautiful has never extended to thighs, save rare occasions where you see someone and wonder how she has perfectly smooth, gorgeous thighs AND happens to be in Lane Bryant, too.

I still don’t really understand it, but what he said shifted things around in my head. They haven’t settled into place solidly, but I have stopped hiding them so much. When he says I’d look hot in a short skirt, I don’t wonder about how much a nice psychiatric evaluation would run. It gives me hope that one day, I might just like them myself! Better yet, it has given me the courage to stop putting off some of my favorite things just because people will see my thighs. Saturdays at the lake have become a regular thing. I considered buying some shorts. I have stopped devising clever ways of sitting to minimize them and just started enjoying things again.

Here’s a great blog I wanted to share with those of you haven’t seen it. The articles are well written, as well as amusing. Check out 10 Ways to be a Body Positive Advocate for an unfiltered bit of advice/reality that the haters of the world rather you not know.

I decided to customize the look of BBW Deluxe’s Twitter presence to better match the site. Those of you who tweet, follow me!

Say hello to beautiful Sonia from Oklahoma! She’s 26, a mother of 2, and she knows a good website when she sees one. If you’re lucky, she might add you back as a friend on MySpace. Thanks for your support, Sonia!

I finally completed the new WordPress theme this afternoon, and couldn’t wait to install it. So far so good. If you see anything that doesn’t look right, or is malfunctioning, please let me know. Heck, I’d like to hear from you even if there is nothing wrong! Tell me your thoughts, send me your pictures (Who knows, maybe you could be the next Featured Hot BBW! ), or just send me your favorite cookie recipe. I’m here for you!

I’ve been in a slump these past few weeks. With a close friend in the hospital, with the news of famous, and not-so-famous, people dying, and knowing that others still will soon be checking out, it’s enough to make a guy get introspective.

Even before all this calamity, I had been taking stock of my life. I’m going to be 40 this year and, in addition to the swift passage of time blowing my mind, it’s also something I’m not very happy about. There have been many moments this year in which I have forced myself to recognize just how fortunate I am. I’ve made a point of telling myself to focus on this, and not to dwell on what it is that I don’t have. 

As trite as it may sound, every day is a gift. It’s up to you to make it a worthwhile experience. All we get to keep are our experiences.

Today was a turning point for me. I was determined to get the redesign of BBW Deluxe going. There is so much that I want to do once I get that out of the way, starting with expanding into some new sections, adding forums, galleries, links to my social media presences, blah, blah, blah… Anyhow, I have most of it finished now. You may see the new theme pop up from time to time, then revert to the old design, as there are a number of bugs to work out, but I couldn’t be more pleased to have it as close to completion as it is.

In other news, my business cards arrived yesterday, just in time for the Vegas Bash. I am so pleased with how well they came out. Note the curved edges. I like my cards how I like my women!

And finally, today I recieved the great news that my hospitalized friend had her chest tube removed, and is likely to be discharged tomorrow.  As Robbie Nevil said, in that classic 80′s jam, “When you’re down,there’s just one way to go”. C’est La Vie n’ stuff.

I stumbled onto this sculture while driving through downtown Mesa, Arizona. It’s title is They Are Waiting, and the placard reads:

“We have all gone through periods on intense waiting – perhaps to graduate from school, get a job or get married. It was the universal emotions associated with waiting that inspired Nnamdi Okonkwo to create this elegant sculpture. The women also symbolize the abundance of life and the largeness of soul. In their fluid lines, simple shapes and general arrangement, the artist finds his ideal of order, balance and beauty.”

How about that Lulu? She was quite the dish some 40 years ago. I did some follow up research on her, and found that she now bears a strong resemblance to Mrs. Malorgio, my friend’s mother (who looked like the Heat Miser when we were growing up). Fascinating, I know.

You can see more of her fantastic photography here.

Are you a Hot BBW? Send your photo here!

It’s no secret that artists have revered the fuller-figured female form for as long mankind has created art. Heck, the first known ever work of art, the Venus of Willendorf, is a statue of a portly gal.

I’ve been discovering a lot of great art lately, featuring beautiful big girls, but nothing has struck me quite like the work of Marty, the Illustrator/Painter behind FA Painter’s BBW Art. He creates finely detailed drawings and stunning photorealistic paintings that I can’t help but stare at.

Big Girl (You Are Beautiful) Video

Hello, friends. As I navigate the Fatosphere in search of items of interest, I wonder how many readers know of, or are involved in, the Fatshionista blog and Flickr group. You’ll find lots of sassy style inspiration, and the added bonus of hot, chubby girl eye-candy.

Did you hear Monique lost 40 lbs?  Good for her. That is an impressive accomplishment, and I’m sure she had good reasons for  losing the weight. I’m wondering though, does it make me a bad person for addressing the fact that I think she looked better before the weight loss?

Here’s another look at Adele.

And lastly, a woman I found to be interesting and inspiring.

BBW Deluxe wants to hear from you! Are you a hot BBW who wants to flaunt it? Send us your picture! Have something to say? Want Dyxie’s personal cell number? (OK, not really) Send email here.

So you’ve put together the perfect outfit. The dress is right, the jewels are perfect, but there is that one nagging detail that seems to never resolve itself. Those darned narrow shoes. Consigned to flip flops? Relegated to orthodontic shoes? No more!

 Avenue has both women’s clothing sizes from 14-32 AND a crazily large selection of women’s wide shoes up to size 13 wide!!! I am walking on clouds over the Cloud Walkers from Avenue.

Plus, everything seems to be priced just right. Shoes under $30 bucks in a myriad of styles from faux snake skin, the currently popular roman sandal all the way to the classic wedge.

And if that weren’t enough Avenue carries a reasonably priced, sexy yet classic variety of lingerie in sizes that fit real women. With names like “Sugar Blossom Chemise” and “Sweet Ruffled Babydoll” summer nights are sure to go from hot to on fire!

Drop Dead Diva, a new series on the Lifetime, is being billed as a “feel everything” comedy targeted at addressing fat stereotypes head-on.  The traditionally beautiful Deb (Brooke D’Orsay) dies in a tragic car accident and is plopped down into the body of pleasantly plump Elliott (Jane Bingum).  Elliott, a brilliant attorney is sidekicked by her trusty legal assistant Teri (Margaret Cho!!!!).  No longer able to use  her leggy physique to get her to the top, Deb (now Elliot) must rely on her brains and not her beauty to maneuver through her new fat world.

Bingum, excited about the chance to portray a positive image of fat women, told the Daily News that, “We’re conditioned to believe that beauty comes in one specific package, but this project is dispelling that myth, saying that beauty is everywhere, in every body type, in every type of person.”

The show premeirs on July 12 at 9 p.m.  The ensemble cast will be joined by guest stars Rosie O’Donnell, Tim Gunn, Jorja Fox, Kathy Najimy, Deidrich Bader, Sharon Lawrence and Elliot Gould.  Don’t wait till the 12th though!  Watch a little sneaky peek today!  Or, follow the cast on the Drop Dead Diva Twitter page.

If you don’t read the Frisky, I suggest you do. It’s way better than this blog, and it looks much better too. It’s more like a magazine, not only in the look, but in it’s content as well. You get the feeling that the Frisky has an office with a conference room, a staff of writers and editors, designers, an IT department…all that.

Check out some of the good stuff I have been reading. Beth Ditto looks fantastic on this cover, but I’ve learned that she’s fallen prey to Photoshop, as so many a celebrities have (including Adele, Sammy Emm’s new favorite vocalist). In this instance, they’ve used Photoshop to make her look bigger. That sounds like something I would do!

Feministing is another good site. Again, it’s way better than this one. If you had to choose between this one and Feministing, I’d go over there. It’s not quite as aesthetically pleasing as the Frisky, and I don’t get the impression that they have all the trappings of a big publication. What they do have is good articles, humorous commentary, plus all sorts of words and subject matter that I don’t mention here. Not because I am a prude, but because I want to avoid BBW Deluxe being categorized by Google as “Adult Content“, as initially was the case. You never see these things coming.

Then there’s that upcoming show called “More to Love”. I didn’t even know about it when I started the blog. I hope Fox doesn’t put the Cease and Desist smackdown on me.

Is BBW Deluxe in the midst of an identity crisis? Perhaps. I admit, in a short time, it’s become something I didn’t foresee. A site with repeat visitors, an ever-growing number of new readers, fabulous contributors, and vocal supporters. What more could a guy ask for?

You can always tell what is interesting to the lowest common denominators of the world by the subject lines in your spam. While filters catch all my spam email, periodically, I have to moderate the comments for this blog, a small percentage of which are spam. Currently, the world is abuzz with interest in (as if you didn’t already know):

“Miley Cyrus nude”
“Rihanna nude”
“Kim Kardashian nude”

These come at me like dispatches from Bizarro World, where reality makes so little sense that I have a difficult time even identifying with humanity. With so much in the way of news, entertainment and Bizzaro transmissions at my at my fingertips, it’s easy for my anti-social tendencies to self-perpetuate.

I’d guess that some of you who visit BBW Deluxe feel the same way. I know I’m not the only one, and knowing that I am not alone is what keeps me motivated day after day. It keeps me from giving up on life, and resigning myself to an existence of Doritos, video games and bad tv. It keeps me coming back here, even when I’m not sure if I’m relaying information of any worth. It’s this place I come to in search of like-minded friends when my in-person associates leave something to be desired.

Here are the latest bits of information I find amusing. If I were sending out spam, these might be the subjects:

No Skinny Chicks? I couldn’t agree more.
Don’t be ridiculous!
Chick Lit? How about Big Chick Lit?
Money to Burn? Look great doing it.
For the love of belly!

Thanks to Heather for sharing this photo. Her eyes are the bluest I have ever seen. What a stunning beauty!

Want to be the next Hot BBW? Send your photo to bbwdeluxe@gmail.com.

Plus-size fashion is a subject of passion for BBW Deluxe readers and writers alike, and rightly so. The big women in my sphere are among the most stylish people around, yet they frequently get the short end of the stick when it comes to attractive, afforable clothing in extended size ranges.

With sizes over 14 accounting for a quarter of the $25 billion a year spent on women’s clothing, it seems that the buying power of the plus-size market is finally being noticed. Now, a collective of retailers, designers, models and plus industry businesses, have put together an event called Full Figured Fashion Week.

Here’s a full list of scheduled events.

We have gotten the message (how could we not?) that we are not ok because our bodies are bigger. We spend too much time apologizing for it, trying to be smaller, less visible, less everything so as to try and appease the powers that be. Nice things, pleasurable things, delicious experiences? Those are for the people who deserve them because they are thin enough and pretty enough. We’ll buy good clothes when we finally lose weight. We’ll go out dancing or go on that beach vacation later because we’re too fat to go now. We’ll go on a date laaaaater. This is bull.

Putting your life on hold—especially the pleasurable parts—is just awful. We’ll acknowledge the big things, but this attitude toward yourself and what you deserve seeps into all areas of your life. Giving yourself permission to seek out pleasure for its own sake is a big deal. If you’re going to do it, you have to give up feeling guilty for it or making it up by creating a deficit somewhere else. That totally defeats the purpose. Hedonism isn’t the last days of the Roman Empire and wild orgies. It’s pursuing the pleasures of the senses. Touch and taste, sight, sound, and smell. Pleasure is a Good Thing. It balances the rest of our lives. It grounds us to the earth and to our bodies in a wonderful way.

This sort of indulgence isn’t about money, though it’s certainly easier to do with funding behind it. Hedonism is a mindset and an attitude. Some people have a spirit of poverty; I believe in a spirit of joyous plenty. Life is too short to spend it fretting over what we shouldn’t do or mustn’t say. That’s such an American thing to do, to suck the fun out of things, then bemoan the fact that we aren’t like Italians or Spaniards or Argentines, full of life and joy. Bah! I say wine at lunch for everyone!

But really, when was the last time you intentionally went and did something to delight your senses? Small steps like these seem like nothing, but they lead to small squares of really great chocolate, homemade bread, and afternoons alone wandering in the woods with the dogs. Next thing you know, you’re getting massages and buying lacy underthings and knitting angora scarves just because the yarn feels so divine between your fingers. Consider yourself warned.

You too can be the next Hot BBW! Just send your picture to bbwdeluxe@gmail.com. Now!

Special thanks to BBW Deluxe reader Lynne, for the heads up on this bit by ABC news, featuring fellow bloggers, and dishy big girls Marianne Kirby of The Rotund and Gabrielle Gregg of Young Fat and Fabulous.

Having dated a number of self-loathing BBW, it’s very refreshing to see beautiful women like these not bowing to the pressures of society. What’s not to love?

One of the coolest things about doing this blog is getting to meet a number of talented, beautiful women. Please welcome Peeps Benoir, the newest contributor to BBW Deluxe. After exchanging a few emails, and seeing her photography, I’m so excited to see what she’ll bring to the table. I have no doubt she’ll be great!

Are you interested in photography, modeling or writing? Do you just have something to say? We’d love to hear from you too! Drop us a line at bbwdeluxe@gmail.com.