The Dreaded CHIN!

As a woman, I am susceptible to the pressures of the airbrushed, tanned and perpetually “perfect” women in the media. I have been in front of the mirror hating every last inch of what I see. Picking apart my stomach, thighs and upper arms, I have slowly tortured myself. But through some therapy, a good dose of self-esteem and an unwillingness to be part of the fashion perfection machine, I have overcome a good portion of my self-hate. I can even look at myself, all of myself, in the mirror and find things that I absolutely love about a fat, nude me.

My Double Chin

Everything  except my double chin. I can wear sleeveless shirts, shorts and even am okay in a bathing suit but I cringe at that little roll of fat underneath my chin. I catch myself in the mirror and I instantly lift my head to hide that little imperfection. It is the worst when I am having my picture taken! I force the photographer to stand on boxes, anything so that all pictures are taken above me at all times!! Heaven forbid someone see that tiny bag beneath my face! Gasp!

Sometimes I feel that for all of my big talk about self-acceptance I should just get with the program and stop worrying about it. I loathe that I hate this little meaningless part of my body. At a proud 258lbs, I love my curves and enjoy shopping with reckless regard. I wear clingy dresses and tight pants and revel in my roundness, but cannot get over that one little shortcoming even though I know it is mostly an unnoticeable aspect of my body. I doubt people look at me and say, “God! What a huge double Chin Sammy has!!!”

So for today, I am going to just be okay with it. I will, for today, love the chin I am in.

A Bad Chin Day

Tomorrow, it might be different story. I might have a bad chin day. I might have to wear a turtle neck and a scarf, but today I am going to be bold and okay with that pudgy piece of me above my throat and below my lips. Oh yes, today I will love my double chin.

Why?  Because there is no time for wishing for something that may never be. Worse, there isn’t another moment to be living in fear of my own body. And because this is how it starts. It doesn’t start with loving everything that you are. It begins with the unwillingness to abuse yourself, just for one day. And then it grows. First your thighs seem a little sexier, then the roll at your waist isn’t such a problem. Then all of the sudden, a gentleness flows over you for your own body. A quiet but radical acceptance of the body you’re in now, not the body you want or the body that she has but the reality of you.

So just for today, mind you, love that one part of your body that you hate. It might be your arms or it could be your nose. Whatever it is, take one day and treat it kindly, like your body was meant to be treated. Heck, even double chins deserve a little dignity now and again.

Loving the Chin I'm In